Are you identified with your wounds?

The other day I was talking with a client and she mentioned how much healing she is doing with issues from her childhood. She commented on how long it takes to heal from such wounding. I agreed that when a person has been abused and wounded during childhood, it is important to heal. Sometimes, this can take longer than we might like. I added that it is important to know when it’s time to move on.

Sometimes, people allow themselves to become identified with their wounding. Rather than seeing it as an experience they went through and need to incorporate, they begin to see themselves as the wounding. There is a big difference.

We are not our wounds. We are not our experiences. The things that happen to us, especially during childhood, can have an impact on the type of person we grow into. Sometimes, it can be very important to work with a skilled therapist or counselor so we can heal from past experiences. A good therapist’s ultimate aim will be the client’s incorporating the experience, growing from it, and being able to live beyond that experience. A good therapist does not want the client to stay stuck in the past.

When I did some deep therapeutic work years ago, my therapist told me that from the first day I walked into her office, her goal was to see me on my last day leaving her office. I appreciated her willingness to see me as a whole person who had some issues to work on as opposed to being a damaged person who would forever remain that way.

Healing our emotional wounds doesn’t have to be a life-long endeavor. It is true that healing takes as long as it takes. However, it doesn’t have to be the entire book of our lives. Healing can be a chapter in the very interesting novel we call our life.

Do you have wounds or experiences that you are hugging close to you rather than letting them go? Do you identify yourself as damaged? If you have worked on your issues and still are not able to move beyond them, I would suggest you consider working with someone who can lead you past identifying with your wounding. Find someone who can help you bring fresh air and light into the situation so you can begin to live your life today, not in the dark past. You deserve it!

Living in grace and ease,

Krysta