Are you guilty?

You might have been raised in a religious environment that said humans are the scum of the earth and we should grovel before the feet of a God who is vengeful and ready to strike us down if we get off the path the religious leaders tell us we should walk.

The faith I was raised in said we’re all born with what is called Original Sin. From day one on this planet, we start out with a negative balance in our spiritual account! No wonder so many of us are plagued with guilt.

When you get to the metaphysical/spiritual world you’re told that the word for sin really means “to miss the target.” Certainly not something worthy of fire and brimstone. However, it can take a long time to shake off the guilts if you grew up with them.

Over the years I’ve met people who are so bogged down with guilt they can hardly take a step forward. They feel depressed and wonder why. They can never get ahead career-wise, financially, or in relationships and wonder why.

We are creative beings. Our thoughts are creative. If we are steeped in a broth of guilt and self-loathing, how can we expect to manifest joy, prosperity or fulfilling relationships?

So, here it is.

1. If you do or don’t do something you know you should or shouldn’t do, use it as a learning experience. What can you do differently the next time you are faced with a similar situation? Spend some time thinking and writing about this in order to clarify your thoughts. Pretend this is a workshop you went to and write down what you learned.

2. Did you hurt anyone? If appropriate, apologize or make amends to them. This can be difficult, depending on what was done. In some cases so much time has passed it could be difficult, if not impossible, to find the person(s) we injured. In that case, do something for someone else in the spirit of making ammends without the person knowing what you are doing. The point is that making some sort of ammends helps to balance the scales of your actions.

 Sometimes it is helpful to share what we’e done with another person. This is an area to be careful, however. The other person has to be trustworthy and not share the information with anyone else without your permission. Talking to a professional such as a counselor or minister coud be helpful since they are bound to confidentiality.

 The point in sharing is not to make you feel shame. It is to have a witness of what has transpired. Having a witness makes the experience real, gets it out of our heads and into our hearts, and can help us understand our behavior if such understanding is helpful.

3. Vow to do it differently. If you continue to make the same mistake, that means you are not truly sorry – or you are not paying attention to your own life. Not only must you say you’re sorry, you have to not engage in the same behavior again. This is what it means to be truly sorry.

4.  Move on. Learn from the experience. Let it go. It is done. Give yourself absolution and forgiveness. Perhaps you can have some sort of ritual where you physically release your past. Some people like to write down what happened and then burn it or flush it down the toilet, symbolizing their decision to totally release the situation. We can’t change our pasts. We can incorporate them into who we are today. We can use lessons from our pasts to make us better people from today forward.

Hanging onto guilt and regrets about anything is like trying to walk with heavy balls attached to both feet. You won’t get very far very fast. I remember a teacher who once said: “Do something or don’t do something. But whatever you do, don’t feel guilty about it.”

Sounds like great advice to me!

Living in grace and ease,

Krysta